Read my Story. Sign your Name. Make a Difference.

My journey of recovery from BPD was so close to not happening.

For years I suffered from the disorder and though I suspected I had it, I had no health insurance so no access to mental health services. At one point I began seeing a counselor at a family center, but the cost - even on the reduced fee scale - was such a burden on my finances I had to stop. At one point, when severely depressed and self-injuring, my sister took me to a crisis center and all I got was the runaround - a list of people who I needed to call...and when I called them I was simply referred to another person, who referred me somewhere else, and so on.

I suffered due to stigma as well. Not so much the stigma against mental illness - I knew I was sick and embraced that. I talked about it with my closest friends and family and although they did not know what to do to help me, they loved me through it. Yet I feared going to a doctor or counselor and saying "I think I have Borderline Personality Disorder." I thought for sure he/she would brush me off as a crazy person self-diagnosing by googling my symptoms or reading Wikipedia (I did both of those things, but also consulted a copy of the DSM-IV). In a way, that fear held me back from diagnosis and treatment.

My recovery began almost by accident, and almost did not happen at all. It actually began during a period of very good mental health. I was happy and stable when I developed a (painful!) kidney stone and went into the emergency room. Because I didn't have insurance, I asked the ER if they had some form of financial assistance. They got me the paperwork to apply for Medicaid, and though it a was taxing and very confusing process, I eventually was placed on a low-income County Health Plan.

Several months later, when I took a nosedive, I called the number of the Community Mental Health program listed in the book of covered services I got from the health plan. After a phone assessment (they assessed me for Bipolar because at the time I suspected I might have that), I was told I was not eligible for services under the plan, and was referred to two other counseling centers for help. I contacted both of those agencies; one told me they did not have a program for my possible condition (bipolar) and the cost at the other one was more than I could afford. I resigned myself to the inevitable: I would probably die from this disease.

Then something wonderful happened. I received a call from a counselor at Community Mental Health Center who had further reviewed my file and found that I was also on the Adult Benefits Waiver program, which entitled me to free services at center. (to this day, I have never received anything stating that I have this program or what it includes. I also don't know whether or not I am actually on Medicaid...the entire program is so confusing and unorganized). I set up an intake interview with this counselor and met with her a few days later. My recovery was about to begin.

That's a long story with one simple point: Though mental illness is more accepted and understood in our world today, access to recovery and services is still difficult and sometimes impossible for some suffering from it.

Which is why today I want to share the petition from "The Walk For Depression" They are attempting to gather signatures from 1 million people to push congress for more acceptance, more research, more services and better access to help.

Obviously, I support this 100%. As of today they have less than 2,000 signatures. In August several volunteers will walk 850 miles to gather more signatures and support. I have added my name to the list and hope that, after reading my story or living your own, you will sign too.

Sign here: http://www.walktowashington.org/sign-the-petition