"You're Not a Bad Guy"

Another TV quote today, this time from a rerun of Grey's Anatomy. It is amazing how much BPD wisdom I find in that show!! (well, among other shows I love to watch!) What a great reminder to us that the world is NOT black and white, that our loved ones are not the "bad guys" every time they make a mistake, and most importantly, that we're not "bad guys" when we screw up either!!!

(quote context: George O'Malley is talking to Dr. Bailey after it is found out he cheated on his wife, Callie, with Izzy)

Bailey: O'Malley...look, you're not a bad guy. And I don't mean to let you off the hook entirely, because what you did was unkind and hurtful and wrong. But you're not a bad guy. I'm...I'm just saying, it...it takes two. To reach the point you reached in your marriage, it takes two. I mean...I mean, I'm here late at night, Halloween, helping an earless boy get ears, and my husband wants to act like that isn't an important thing. He wants to act like...it isn't a good thing that I did today. Now that isn't just on me. That's him wanting things to be the way he wants. That's him wanting things to be purely black-and-white. I mean, I missed my son's first Halloween, and my heart is aching inside of my chest, but, you know, that doesn't mean anything. It...it doesn't count because in a black-and-white world, I simply didn't make it home, and that makes me the bad guy. You know, always. I'm always the bad guy. You hear what I'm saying?

George: Sorry you missed your son's first Halloween.

Bailey: Look, what I'm saying to you is...okay, I was there. All right? I was there the day your father died. I was there when you came back from Vegas, married after a week and...all I'm saying is...it's not black-and-white...and you're not a bad guy.