Here's to the girls...with bruises and scars

Good meeting with my counselor today, but very emotional as I talked a LOT about some of the problems in my life and especially my family that have been gnawing at me lately, and that brought me to the point I was at when I decided to seek therapy in the first place. But every session is a reminder that I'm making good progress - this weekend, when I freaked out, I put into action a plan for dealing with my anger that resulted in...well, nothing. Nothing terrible happened because I got angry...I didn't ruin any relationships or hurt anyone. I went off, did my little distract/relax/cope routine, and my life went on. That's a long way from where I was just six months ago...and I am hopeful, always hopeful, that I'll learn more and be able to handle other overwhelming emotions like fear and stress, and move on even further in my life.

On my way home I was listening to music on my Ipod, but the lyrics from another song ("Anthem" by a fave band called Superchick) kept running through my head at the same time:

Here's to the girls on their boards with bruises and scars
Here's to the girls whose fingers bleed from playin' guitar
Here's to anyone who never quit when things got hard
You'll never let them say "you'll never get that far."

I love Superchick's songs about women being strong, and was thinking of those people - like skaters, guitarist, marathon runners, etc. - who work so hard it hurts to get what they want. Since I want to loose weight this year, I've been exercising so much and pushing myself so hard I've been sore and aching just about every day of 2010...and I've dropped 5 lbs because of it! For so long, I brushed aside exercising (even my favorite - running - after a severe sprained ankle) - because of the "pain". But I realized today the pain is sacred, it part of my progress, and it tells me I want something so bad that I'm sacrificing to get it.

Life is the same way - it hurts. And so does recovery. Sometimes you come home crying from a therapy session from all you unburdened yourself with. Sometimes you mess up and fall back into your old ways, and are left with the scars. But you can't fear that pain. Its part of you. Its sacred. Its the bleeding fingers of the avid guitarist, the shin splints of the Olympic athlete. Its the pain that reminds you what you're working towards, and the scars that will always remind you of where you've been. We have to feel the pain and cherish it as much as we have to never give up.