Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Joy Comes in the Morning?

Why am I always in such bad shape in the mornings? I am always angry, or sad, or anxious, or self-deprecating...or all of the above. Everyday it makes me want to crawl back under the covers and hide from the world. But once I get up, and get out into the world...things are usually fine. I find that I am strong, that I am ok, that I can handle my emotions, and that I have value. And for the rest of the day I can usually face just about anything. But all that confidence and stability is somehow sucked away in my sleep...no matter how good of a day I have had, once I wake up the next morning, I feel worthless and scared and angry all over again. And the only thing that can remind me once again of who I really am is the one thing I least want to do - go out and face the world.

This is how I felt this morning, and I chanted my mantra as of late "Get up, show up, do it anyway" on my way to work. And, I truly did have a great day - drove home hanging on a compliment of how I was good at my job. So now I feel as if I can conqueror the world. But tomorrow morning will be another story.

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