Blood Boiling

I never really thought about the phrase "blood boiling" before, until yesterday. Someone said something so offensive and insulting to me that those two words popped into my mind. It was exactly what I was feeling...its how I feel when my anger gets out of control.

I had a choice in that instant - to make a scene or just shrug it off and walk away. I went with the latter, which I think was a good choice. Later, when I tried to rationalize my decision, and why I couldn't say something more to stand up for myself (though a dear friend did stand up for me), I simply accepted the fact that some people are completely ignorant and live in a little cocoon with no desire to learn or understand the world of the people around them. I think that's the closest I've come to radical acceptance so far (though its not truly radical acceptance because that is a judgment, and to radically accept something you just have to view it in neutral terms. But that got me through it.

Though this morning, my blood was boiling again, and this stupid little remark almost ruined my whole day.

But...I don't want to let it....

My Emotional Life

Did anyone out there watch the special series "This Emotional Life" on that ran on PBS last week? I happened to stumble across it while searching through my DTV guide and watched about half of the episode on facing fears (which was episode 2 and just happened to be the one that dealt with BPD). I was so excited because so many of the things they were talking about were the exact same things I've been working on or discussing in therapy, like using specific strategies to regulate emotions like fear and anxiety. They even talked about radical acceptance and how, when people looked at their situations objectively and without judgements, their emotions shifted into the positive. They also did an excellent job in explaining the background of different types of therapy, how it has evolved, and why it works in certain situations. I am definitely going have to watch this series again in its entirety (so watch for me to post more on it!), and I recommend it to anyone struggling with emotional health.