The Difference a Day Makes

Yesterday, I had a good day. It was a cool, sunny autumn day. I went off to work. I visited the library. I ate an ice cream, chatted with some friends, did some shopping, and watched my favorite TV show. I forgave and forgot the boy who most recently broke my heart. I controlled my emotions and was content. In all, a good day.

But less than 24 hours later all if opposite. It's rainy and gloomy. I woke up angry and feel forlorn and abandoned. I stayed home. I haven't eaten, gotten out of my pajamas, and don't want to go into work. I hate that boy today - feel the sun is shining on him but hiding from me. Today is different. But...today I have a blog.

What a difference a day makes. And in the life of a borderline, just small moments can make all the difference in the world. For me, that is one of the hardest parts of this life to cope with. And since we are sensitive people who see the world differently than everyone else, the littlest things happening in a moment, a day, can change our world.

I have just completed the first few chapters in The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook, so I now have a wealth of new coping mechanisms to use in those situations when the hurt and anger come on so strong that they burn through my nerves, make me lie there and shake from the emotional pain. So far today, I have not hit that point: I dangle above it, but I haven't quite fallen that far. Yet yesterday I and other could have thought perhaps I'd stepped out of the current shadow I've been under. But today I'm in it again. What a difference a day can make.